Every few years I “rediscover” this band called Dinosaur Jr. that I enjoyed listening to during my high school years. One song, in particular, that was in heavy rotation on my mp3 player back then was this gem called Get Me. To this day if I listen to that song I can almost remember what it felt like to be a love-struck teenage girl.

High school me basically came across to people one of two ways. Either you knew me as a very quiet girl who mostly kept to herself and could be that voice of reason/mom friend, or if you knew me really well, then you knew that once I opened up I could be an absolute weirdo. (Or as my husband is nice enough to say, “eccentric” ?)

My high school years were probably one of the last times in my life where I actually put effort into trying to socialize with people (in person) whom I wanted to get to know.

Meaning, I had a few really lovely close friends but all of those friends sort of “found” me. Which I’m thankful for! Otherwise, I would have probably had no friends.

However, in high school, I made a few attempts to put myself out there, so to speak. A few times that I tried my hand at making friends rather than waiting for them to end up in my life, and I nearly always failed.

I chalk it up to being very socially awkward. I hate small talk, alright? I understand the necessity of it but for the most part, I’d rather have more meaningful conversations with people. As an introvert, those are the conversations I seek and adore. But naturally in order to have those conversations with people you’ve got to get to know each other better. It takes time. Today, as an adult, I know I can’t expect to make friends with someone I barely know by starting the conversation with something like, “what are your beliefs about what happens when you die?” and go into a rant about how much I love Dr.Brian Weiss’ past life regression work. I mean, I’ve never actually tried it but I’m pretty sure it would not go well.

Long introduction aside – today I want to share an embarrassing story from my high school years.

Something to laugh at and help to maybe distract from the difficult feelings many of us are facing amid covid/quarantine/2020 being the worst, etc.

---

 

You Don’t “Get Me”

A Tale of High School Embarrassment

 

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, in high school Get Me by Dinosaur Jr. was sort of my “I’ve got a crush on this guy” song to listen to when I was a teenager. Music was everything to me in high school and it was a way in which I’ve always tried to connect with people. Unfortunately, I was also very shy and socially awkward.

During my freshman year, there was this boy on the school bus, we’ll call him Jimmy*, that I had a huge crush on. I barely knew anything about him other than that he was a senior, very quiet and slightly resembled Richey Edwards of the Manic Street Preachers, a band I was very fond of at the time. But I wanted to know him.

For whatever reason, I was smitten. I decided one day that I was going to find a way to talk to him. This was one of the very few wildly-not-introverted things I’ve done in my life.

I planned it out. I would sit behind him on the bus and I would tap his shoulder and ask what he was listening to on his iPod. I hoped that maybe that would spark a conversation.

But when I carried out my plan, the poor Jimmy just mumbled the name of a band I had never heard of and turned back around. He clearly had no interest in having a conversation with me.

Now, the person I am today would’ve taken his response to my attempt to talk to him as a clear hint that he was not interested, but teenage me was not so wise.
I actually thought I had done well, I mean, I talked to him. That was a big deal for me. Foolishly naive.

I went home that day and booted up Limewire (rip) on the family computer. I looked up the band he mentioned, downloaded a couple of their songs and tried to convince myself that they were good even though, I really didn’t care for them at all.

Then I had an idea, I should make him a mix cd!

I know what you’re thinking, “gurl what? noooo”. But alas common sense, the ability to pick up social queues — it was all lost on me. I made Jimmy a mix cd with some songs I baselessly assumed he might like, including my good ole’ Dinosaur Jr. song, “Get Me”.

The fact that I thought this was even a good idea was embarrassing on its own, but naturally, the execution of my plan to actually hand this cd to Jimmy would be worse.

Well, friends, the day had arrived. I completed the cd and made plans to hand it to him after we got off the bus at the end of the school day. I had a PLAN.

As I got off the bus with my good friend (miraculously still my friend to this day), I knew I had to act quick because I didn’t want to make it seem like I was following him home. Typically I did walk down the same street as him as it was on my way home but at some point, I’d take a right while he’d continue down the street.
I had to make sure I handed him the cd before the time I’d usually take my turn.

As fate would have it, it was winter-time and the sidewalk was icy. I was trying my best to keep up with, Jimmy, but he was fast and well – I slipped on the ice and fell on my ass. Jimmy looked over his shoulder and then continued walking.
Somehow though, in my head, my plan was still on.

I finally caught up with him and did a very awkward “Hey!” and he turned around, not saying a word. I then handed Jimmy the cd and said all frazzled “I made you this cd of some songs you might like let me know what you think” and the boy looked at me, took the cd and said “thanks”.

We never spoke again. Obviously (lol). He graduated a few months later and my dramatic teenage self often wondered what happened to that cute boy from the bus. I mostly forgot about it after though.

Well, that was until around 2015 – about 8 years later.

I was doing orientation at my new place of employment. Things were going great, I really liked the place. The woman who was training me was giving me a tour, and we get in the elevator and there’s a man in the elevator with us. She introduces me to the man and says something along the lines of

“and this is Jimmy (last name)! He’s the best (occupation) here! His son also works for us in (occupation). I’m sure you’ll run into them both at some point.”

I thought that Jimmy’s name (first and last) sounded awfully familiar but thought eh, coincidence. Plus ya know, he was an older man probably about my father’s age.
A few weeks later though, while I was in the employee break area where we clocked in, I locked eyes with none other than Jimmy from high school.

Suddenly it clicked. He.was.the.son. He was Jimmy Jr., apparently.
Thankfully I don’t think he recognized me. I didn’t look the same as I did when I was 14/15 years old (thank god).
But you better believe I dodged his glance any other time I saw him in the hallway at work – just in case.

I will end it with this, I’m thankful for how Jimmy handled the cd thing. I mean, he could’ve been a real jerk if he wanted to be. He could’ve had his friends pick on me or something. But he just took the cd off the hands of this awkward freshman girl and never brought it up again.
I’m sure he thought I was a weirdo (because I was) but at least he wasn’t mean to me and I appreciate that.
I worked pretty closely with Jimmy’s dad during my time at that job, and his dad was a very kind man so maybe Jimmy was just raised right, who knows.

Either way – thanks for (kind of ) humoring me, Jimmy.

and if you read this far, thank YOU for being here! If you enjoyed this kind of post please let me know.

*name was changed

As always,

Sending you love & light,