It is truly hard to believe that 2020 is soon coming to an end. I think that we can all agree that this year has been unlike any other that we have experienced. I’ve told this story a few times but I continue to tell it because it is a perfect example of the lack of control that we have when it comes to outside forces. Two weeks before the pandemic struck in the United States, I had one of our closest friends over for a visit. We were talking about the past few months of our lives and how we had both been in quite a rut. We both expressed major plans for 2020. Plans that, between the two of us, involved, traveling, attending social groups, getting out of the house, and challenging ourselves to make new connections and perhaps even friends!

Boy, were we so optimistic and so convinced that we would follow through with these goals! However, as we all know, Covid-19 had other plans for everybody. My friend had to cancel his plans to travel abroad and I had t cancel my plans to put myself out there to try new things and make new friends as I wanted to forge my way out of a place where I felt trapped in the identity of “just” a stay-at-home-mom.

For most of us, March marked a new chapter in not just the year, but our lives. Everything was suddenly different. Goals that involved leaving the house let alone the country were put on hold. Trips to the grocery store were no longer simple. Toilet paper became a hot commodity! What a strange, strange, year it has been. Now that we are in October, the Covid-19 pandemic is sadly, long from over as we do not have a cure and people continue to become infected at an increasing rate. We have had to learn to adjust in so many ways. 2020 has been a huge lesson in so many things.

As this year is close to coming to a close, I’ve realized that although Covid-19 did get in the way of one of my big goals for the year (putting myself out there), it did not interfere with any of the other goals that I planned in January. Incredibly, those goals came to fruition despite the madness around me.

Continuing in tradition from the years before, I want to take some time to revisit what my 2020 goals were.

[Please note – my yearly goals are not extremely specific (on purpose!). What has worked for me in the past few years is to pick a few key words to focus on that can apply to various areas of my life.]

2020 Goals Review

Trust. Self Care. Growth.

Trust

This year it was a goal of mine to be more trusting in the Universe’s plan for me. I have spent years of my life meticulously planning. Like many people, at times I’ve put “timelines” on myself in order to achieve certain goals. And while for the most part, things have worked out how I wanted them to, some things have not! And it has been a journey to accept that sometimes things happen at a different time than we plan for a reason. This reason is rarely obvious at the time but in hindsight it always is.

Did I learn to “let go” and trust the universe in 2020? I actually can confidently say that I did. Partially because I had no choice. As I mentioned above, the pandemic was a wake-up call. We do not get to plan every aspect of even our own lives. Something can happen in the world outside your bubble that can change the entire course of your journey. Covid did affect a few of my more personal goals, however, my trust in fate grew. What choice did I have? Dwell on wishing for the impossible or let go and trust the current reality? Interestingly enough when I let go of my obsession over things happening at a certain time, things manifested in their own perfect timing. Whenever I start to get anxious about things I want to do or achieve or have appear in my life, I remind myself to trust. Trust. TRUST. If it is meant for me it will be mine. If it is not meant for me, I will know the reason in time. This has been a valuable lesson and it has given me a lot of peace I did not have before.

Self-Care

Ah, the elusive concept of self-care. This is a tricky one. Did I work on my goal of self-care? In some ways I did, in other ways, I did not. See, when I made this goal, I was thinking more along the lines of my physical health. I wanted to make a doctor’s appointment and actually show up to it. I wanted to go back to therapy. Covid did get in the way a bit. I did not want a telehealth appointment and I decided this could wait another year and realize that is probably not the right answer. However, even though my plan was to wait, I did end up going to the doctor recently (woo hoo!) anyway and I do plan to get on track with that side of self-care.

The other kind of self-care I wanted to work on was alone time. Which, again, with Covid was not the easiest to achieve. However, I will say I did make time for more “breaks” this year than years before. My husband always encourages that I get out of the house and do my own thing whenever I want. But it’s not always so simple. I also, enjoy being home, and sometimes wish I could be home alone for the sake of silence. My husband is very accommodating of that when he can be, as far as getting Julia out of the house and having their daddy-daughter dates to the park and whatnot. For me, it’s always been really vital to get even a few minutes of alone time each day. I wish could have this on a daily basis, but again, with a toddler and noisy neighbors below us, it’s not always possible. But thanks to my husband, I’ve found a few snippets here and there and I’m very appreciative of that.

Lastly, my book. The most important thing I’ve done for my self-care. It has been incredibly nourishing to my soul and my desire to reclaim my identity. I began writing my first book in March. It is an activity I began solely for my own enjoyment and it has been a wonderful addition to my life. It is something I actually feel proud of. It is something completely separate from my identity as a wife and mother, which are the roles in which I am most active these days. It’s something that’s me. I do it for me. I’ve put so much love and effort into it and even if I never finish, even if it is never seen by another soul, I will always be proud that I began this project. Giving myself the ability to create something and feel proud of it, has been very nourishing. It has been a form of self-care. Dusting off my creative side has been so good for me this past year and it is something I want to try not to neglect again in the future.

Growth

Ah, every year I make the risky choice to ask the universe for growth, and every year, boy, does she deliver. I’ll be honest – I don’t know if I will be asking for it next year! Haha. When you ask the Universe/God/whatever you believe, for things they come in a way that you don’t always expect. When you ask for growth, what you’re really asking for is challenging experiences that force you to evolve. I mean, that’s what growth is, isn’t it? Growth is rarely the product of easy-breezy living!

With that being said, yes, this year did force me to grow in many ways. Perhaps too personal to put out here explicitly, but I did face a few challenges that forced me to grow quite a bit this year. I am always thankful for growth regardless of the difficult path it takes to get there. Life is about lessons – the sooner we accept that fact the better. Trust. Trust. Trust.

2020 has been such a wild and interesting year. I don’t know what 2021 has in store. I’m not yet sure what my goals for 2021 will be. I have time to think about it and I will think about it deeply.

I do know this, there are a few big life changes in the works for 2021, as a result of some of these 2020 goals mentioned above. I think 2021 will continue along the road of trust and adaptability for myself, as well as, honestly, the entire world.

I know this post came sooner than it usually does. I believe I usually post this in December. However, it’s been a busy fall and I have a lot going on at the moment so I figured, while I have some time to write this, why not do so!

If you made it this far – thank you for reading! I hope that you have a safe, healthy and happy remainder of 2020 and that 2021 is good to us all.

Sending love & light,