My 26th birthday was this past weekend and honestly it feels like a lie to even write that! I know in the grand scheme of life 26 is not really that old. Truthfully, when I really think about it I feel incredibly blessed to have even made it this far for so many reasons. But still, thinking about the fact that I graduated high school 8 years ago, or that I got married 3 years ago, or that my daughter is about to turn 2.. it all just seems crazy.

I just want to be more present this year. I need to learn that before more time slips away from me. I have spent so much time dwelling on feeling lonely or left out, or restless, or uninspired. As much as I love the internet I feel like sometimes It just consumes us in ways we don’t realize. I don’t see anyone other than Kevin and Julia very often (and don’t get it twisted, I love them more than anything and they are literally what I live for) and I tend to feel really lonely due to the lack of close relationships in my life. I just don’t know how to cultivate them. That is something I really struggle with.

However, I decided to walk away from Facebook for a bit. I have been wanting to do this for years but I always have something that makes me not want to do it, like “what if ____ needs to talk to me?” Etc but honestly…. when does that happen? It’s just an excuse. Anyone who would possibly need to reach probably has my phone number and I have only logged out, not deactivated it. I still have messenger so I’ve just deleted the app from my phone for now. I feel the need to eliminate the noise of Facebook and the mindless scrolling that takes time away from being more fully present. Facebook doesn’t help with feelings of loneliness it just amplifies them. 

For 26, I want to focus on:

Being present.

Feeling better, doing better. Listening to myself more.

Living in the now, rather than the past or future.

Trusting the process of life.

Reading more. Getting through the stack of books I keep putting off.

Writing more. Blogging more.

Happy July – and I hope this post finds you well 🙂