Dear Cycle Breaker,

Dear Cycle Breaker,


I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you.

I know the work is hard.

I know changing patterns and learning new ways of doing, and being is hard.

But look at you.

You’re doing it.

You recognized an unhealthy pattern.

You decided it ends with you.

You are healing future generations with your bravery.

And I know you get sad sometimes.

Because it’s hard. And you feel alone.

You feel an immense weight of responsibility on your shoulders,

You care so much about fixing what is broken, changing the only thing you grew up knowing…

That takes a lot of bravery.

It’s not easy to create a new script, to learn the skills at the same time you need to be using them.

And you’ll make mistakes.

It’s okay.

It’s okay because you’re still trying. And your effort will count.

One day your child will do something, they might make a mistake,

and instead of fearing you,

they will turn to you.

And you will see how worth it this journey is.


it’s okay to feel sad – for you – that someone didn’t do this for you.

Along this journey sometimes it hits you – how many bystanders there were to your suffering.

Bystanders who did not stand up for you. Speak up for you. Protect you.

And now you’re the adult.

Now you pay attention a little closer, probably, than others.

You read the room a little more accurately.

You look out for children, your own, and others.

You are important. Needed.

The skills you learned to survive haven’t left you.

You should’ve been free to be a kid,

You shouldn’t have been learning to walk on eggshells.

You didn’t deserve that.

But you are making a difference now.

You made that choice – and it wasn’t the easier option.

And it’s not thanks to your abuse, your trauma, or what you went through.

It’s thanks to you.

Keep going – you are meant to be here,

you matter,

and you are making a difference.

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